It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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