I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
