TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
