Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
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