'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
