i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
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I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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