Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
