spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
