if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
