i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
