JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
