i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
