I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need to sanitize my soul.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
