Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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