My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Of course I have a pirate flag
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
