Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
