I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
