I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger