You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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