it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
please come you make the beer taste better
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT