So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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