I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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