:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
