I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Bang-toberfest begins!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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