it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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