My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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