can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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