mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
