I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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