He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
