You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I want her autograph on my taint
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
