Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
