4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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