I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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