And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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