Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
