I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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