either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
