if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
