Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
