This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
