How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
