Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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