I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
