I hate all girls vehemently.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
