i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize