yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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