The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
