The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize