I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
