I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
