I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize