Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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