I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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