I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
