You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
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Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
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I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize