She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
