I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
