accomplished twins. life is a go
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
