I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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