I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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