He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
