I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
