Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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