You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
