1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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